posted 24 Jun 2012, 03:07
Well.... I'm not a very strongly religious person; I desecrate my "temple" with substance abuse and a hell of a lot of tattoos; but why can't Jehovah God hear me!?
My entire life has been based upon pain, and I'm fucking SICK of it! Looking back, I see that I was trained to be a heartless individual, that was able to withstand enormous amounts of physical pain, but did you ever stop to think of what I may want for myself?! I'M NOT GOING TO BE YOUR FIRE SWORD ANY FUCKING MORE!!!!!
YOU deal with the fucked up people you created, cause my time of absolute hatred IS DONE! It isn't the way I want to be, no matter what your intentions were.
Every single time I beat some worthless piece of shit into a bloody mess, I was in some way rewarded. And if I don't do it, I have horrible "luck" in my life.
I'm not trying to say I have some kind of "divine intervention" in my life, because that would be arrogant, but there is definitely something there when your able to destroy people that are half a foot taller and outweigh you by a lot of pounds on a regular basis.
I just want to be happy, for once in my fucking life, that's all. I've served my time, just let me be happy. The person that I've grown into wont live much longer, and has never been happy.
Less of a blog than it is a letter to Jehovah God