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206.Bhoot Returns (Horror) **
Cast: Manisha Koirala, JD Chakravarthy, Alayana Sharma, Madhu Shalini
Direction: Ram Gopal Varma
Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes
Language: Hindi (A)

* A family of four move into a new bungalow, only to realise that they might have creepy company, the kinds you can't see, only hear... Bhooottt!!!

Ready for a night walk on a chandni raat'! In the same bangla, along I the same dark corridors, winding stairways, and dimmed porch — night after night? Then walk into this door. But be forewarned ... Darna zaroori nahin hai Gettit?
Okay, we understand that Ram Gopal Verina is 'possessed' with bhoot-pret (genre), but the problem with this paranormal story (where incidents unfold only between the couple's bedtime and wake-up time) is that everything about it is just plain (in a para) — Normal!
So brave it, don't fear it and read on. Tarun (JD Chakravarthy) and Namrata (Manisha Koirala) move into, a sprawling bungalow with two kids, Taman (Kushank) and Nimmi (Alayana Sharma), and Tarun's sister, Pooja (Madhu Shalini), the bravest of the lot, joins this bhoot bangla. Soon, the cliches creep in, even before horror does — with creaky doors, a creakier swing, howling dogs, poon-am-ki-raat (every night), a petrified man-servant (with his own share of gaon-ke-ghost stories), windchimes, ticking clocks, a scary blonde doll called Dolly (wow! Original?), and ghostly artefacts (mostly an Animal Farm, with figurines of sparrows, bulls, monkeys, dogs and deer). And mind you, it's all in 3D — up, close, and way too close.
More on the story now. Soon after they move in, the six-year-old Nimmi befriends the bhoot (visible only to her), talks and plays with her, all this while the parents believe it's only a part of the child's fantasy world. Then objects move around, people move around (in super slow motion, mostly up and down the stairs), people scream. Night turns into day. Dogs bark. The bhoot hangs around (sometimes posing for hidden cameras). People scream more. And there it is... it's time for climax.
In his trademark style, RGV places his camera where no man has gone before (we aren't sure about bhoots), like fan blades, chandeliers, behind stupid-cupid statues, between the legs (of a table), and under a woman's bed-sheet (no surprises, huh?). Bhoot Returns, but with no story to tell, until the last twenty minutes, when Ms Bhoot finally comes out of the closet, and scares for a few seconds. In fact, this wannabe fear-fest is more like a rehash of Ramu's Vaastu Shas-tra, and sadly a far, far stretch from the original Bhoot.
For those with a penchant for 3D films, RGV's exploited the technology impressively in parts. Sandeep Chow-ta's background music does nothing to heighten the fear psychosis, and we're left
with some high-pitched shrill sounds. 'Manisha Returns' too, but must we add, her screams will be far from ecstatic.
With little scope to perform, she's trapped between hyperventilating and screeching.
We did leave with one horrifying thought though — of this Bhoot returning (in a third instalment). Hell-llppp!!!

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207.Login (Drama) ***
Cast: Himanshu Bhatt, Radhika Roy, Akkash Basnet, Rashmi Gautam, Nandini Rai, Siddarth Chopra, KK Binojee
Direction: Sanjeev Reddy
Duration: 1 hour 45 minutes
Language: Hindi (A)

* Login sends out a precautionary message to internet users. It addresses the cyber crime issue.

Login is not about social networking. lt's not even about how internet has disconnected our lives. It's about the hazards of using the internet carelessly Perpetually single, never been kissed geeky bachelor seeks a girlfriend online. He even finds her on the web but his happiness is short-lived. Her true identity forces him to face tragic consequences.
A bored housewife gets attracted to a long-lost school friend, who she finds online as she suspects her busy husband to be having an affair with an office colleague. She jumps to this conclusion by peeping into his mobile phone messages.
A call centre employee finds himself in a tough situation as he is neck-deep in credit card debt. In an attempt to clear it all overnight, he takes to hacking and fraud. The film tracks the parallel lives of these individuals and the 'net' mistakes of their lives.
Along with cyber crime, director Sanjeev Reddy's film also looks into the loneliness that grips the lives of urbanites. Reddy's storytelling is interesting. The star cast is new but not naive when it comes to performance. The youngsters act well. Film is high on drama but also has just the right amount of comedy and suspense that keeps you hooked. On the flip side, editing, dubbing lacks finesse. It could have been better. Cinematography is interesting but the camera moves around a bit too much in circular motion, which is not easy on the eyes.
Login is a youthful film. It's however, not just for the young generation. It's a film with a message.

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208.In the name of Tai (Biopic) *
Cast: Nishigandha Wad, GK Asrani, Mahesh Thakur, Dr Vilas Ujwane, Ujjwal V Thengdi, Parag Ajgaonkar
Direction: Ujjwal V Thengdi
Duration:: 2 hour 23 minutes
Language: Hindi (U/A)

* Tai is an ode to slain human rights activist Navleen Kumar who fought for more than a decade to protect and restore the lands of poor adivasis.

Well-known Marathi actress Nishigandha Wad essays the role of a lawyer (Sandhya Purushottam), who fights to safeguard the rights and property of poor famers in rural Maharashtra. She is thus conferred the title of 'tai' (elder sister) by the locals, who consider her as their only saviour.Sandhya (Wad) dares to oppose the politicians and builders, who lure the uneducated famers of Poisar, Maharashtra, into selling their land for less than the market price. Those in power falsely promise the needy, jobs in the factory that would be constructed on their land. Tai sees through the devious intentions of the rich and corrupt. She convinces the farmers to refuse the deal. She takes the matter to court and bravely faces the repercussions of her
feisty movement. Other than fighting the political and social storm, Tai struggles with her personal life, too.
Sandhya's character has been in-spirea Dy siam social activist Mavieen Kumar, who worked for the adivasis of Thane district of Maharashtra. For more than a decade, Navleen fought against corrupt politicians and land mafia, using legal intervention. The human rights activist was brutally murdered in 2002. Unfortunately, the film focuses more on her 'alleged' personal life and marital woes. Her fight against injustice seems like a backdrop.
Tai trapped in a marriage that was never consummated, seeking sexual intimacy with a good friend, yelling, 'I have full sex appeal' to her impotent husband, sheepishly flipping through Kama Sutra; a corrupt politician bedding innocent village girls; random item girls showing ample cleavage as they pop up out of nowhere for a dance number... there is a thin line between bold and sleazy and the movie enters the sleazy category when it comes to depicting the alleged personal life of Tai, which we are told, is fictional to a certain extent. It all seems like a ploy to
attract the front-benchers.
Thengdi terribly loses the plot, especially in the first half. The story goes haywire with random characters making substantial appearances. Scenes begin and end abruptly, thus looking disjointed. An attempt to shuttle between past and present fails too, as everything looks random.
You don't really get to know much about Tai, the person, her beliefs and philosophies. Thengdi, who plays the lead villain (Subodh Singh), is seen more than his protagonist. He however, acts well as the conniving, unethical, politician. What makes Tai, the iron lady, different from the rest and her journey is missing.
Nishigandha Wad acts well. She provides dignity to a film that borders on being titillating in most segments. She is the reason you hope the film will take off somewhere, and it does in the second half to a small extent. The film eventually focuses solely on the issue you go looking for to begin with, but only in the last few minutes! The dialogues are not strong enough either.

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209.Prem Mayee (Drama) *1/2
Cast: Shreya Narayan, Chandrachur Singh, Sanjay Suri
Direction: Shekhar S Jha
Duration:: 2 hours 5 minutes
Language:: Hindi (A)

* Prem Mayee is a story about a woman who takes way too long to realize who she really is and what is it that she wants from love, life and marriage.

Prem Mayee is a good story gone wrong. The director seems as confused as his protagonist Payal (Shreya Narayan). rayai is an amDiuous, intelligent, courageous girl, who assumes she knows what she wants in life. Payal loves Arun (Chandrachur Singh). She also manages to achieve success in her career. The two get married, but love takes a backseat post marriage and so does her hard earned career! Jealousy, insecurity, incompatibility and petty banter leave the two wondering if they'd made the right decision.
Marriage makes Payal lonely and self-critical. She blames herself, considers herself inadequate and incapable of making her husband happy. Coworker Nirvaan (Sanjay Suri) enters Payal's life and she regains her confidence. Is love a baggage at times?
Prem Mayee has a song where Payal calls herself a Paheli. The entire film is a paheli of sorts. The director is as confused about what exactly he wanted to show. You keep wondering if both Payal and Arun need to visit the psychologist as they both display weird behaviour. You fear they both suffer from bipolar disorder!
The story had potential but the filmmaker fails to add meaning to it. The film drags and scenes are super repetitive. Chandrachur acts well but needs to lose weight! Sanjay Suri is a savior. He is the reason you can sit through this otherwise boring film. TSR*-Too bad, he only enters in the
second half.
Lead actress Shreya Narayan acts well. Wish she had a better character to play. Songs are random and don't add anything to the movie. Dialogues are decent.
Prem Mayee is about a girl who feels lost and depressed, unfortunately, that is exactly what you feel after watching this potentially meaningful but meaningless film!

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210.Aiyyaa (romcotn) **1/2
Cast: Rani Mukerji, Prithviraj, Subodh Bhave, Nirmiti Sawant, Satish Alekar, Jyoti Subhash, Ameya Wagh, Anita Date

Direction: Sachin Kundalkar
Duration:: 2 hours 28 minutes
Language: Hindi (U/A)

* A middle-class Marathi mulgi falls in love and romances a Tamil boy in her quirky fantasies, while her parents are looking for the perfect matrimonial match.

Arrey Deva, hey kai? Kinky Kanda-pohey topped with sexy sambar-chutney? Of course, this can't beat the madness of the dramatic Deshpandes. A family of 'weird-Ums' — With aai, baba, bhau, aajji and dream-girl Meenaxi Deshpande (Rani Mukerji), who's truly the Queen of her filmi fantasies (she's revisited every dream sequence as Sridevi, Juhi, Madhuri). So what if this D-family is busy arranging 6pm and 9pm shows of 'Meet The Bride', this one is no Balaji brand bahu, really. She needs more tadka in her life than what a plain diet of varan-bhaat can give. Meenaxi spends time chasing her unique olfactory senses (read: nose) and slipping into long dream-um sequences (where jumping, pumping, thumping, laavni, belly-dancing and more happen) AGBH! (read: Aga Bai!).
When a studly, mysterious Tamil boy Surya (Prithviraj) walks in 'reeking' of manhood, sexuality and 'fragrance', this mulgi just doesn't want to wake up from her wet dreams (funnily, he's the one getting wet in all her dreams); so she starts reading books on Tamil fiction, watching Midnight Masala (IsshhU), and turning aiyyaas to aiyyos. In the meanwhile, she also meets a potential groom, Madhav (Subodh Bhave), who believes in filmi romance too, albeit the Farooq Sheikh-Deepti Naval type.
From top to basumm Rani is truly Wonderum! As Meenaxi, she's 'nosedived' into the character, literally. She's looking fabulous (especially in her bronzed dream sequences), and has dished out a brilliant performance, slipping from traditionally simple to shockingly sexy in a heart-beatumm. Her comic-timing is a revelation and so are her belly-dancing skills. And even with all that boldness, she steals the thunder (more with talent than her thighs-sighs).
Prithviraj is simply Eroticumm! He exudes chiselled, raw sexuality in every scene; gets wet, adds Southern masala with his moves, but says nothing really. Adding to all the drama is the supporting cast led by an over-the-top Aai (Nirmiti Sawant), chain-smoker Baba (Satish Alekar), eccentric Aajji who hilariously zips around in a wheel-chair with dentures made of gold (saved for Meenaxi's wedding), Nana (Ameya Wagh as her bro) who prefers stray dogs to the human race, and her girlfriend, Maina (Anita Date) — the Gaga-bai of the gang (modeled on Lady Gaga), — who lusts for John Abraham, thinks 'sex' and breaks away from the sweet Modak-mould of this typical Maharashtrian family.
Sachin Kundalkar starts out well, but while juggling between Marathi matrimonials and midnight-masaa, his plot goes 'wakda' (read: digresses). After a few giggles, erotic gasps, and gaanas (Amit Trivedi), the story stretches pointlessly and loses its scent.
Even with such a talented ensemble, this one turns into a cultural showpiece, and gets lost in translation. That's the sad-partumm!

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211.Makkhi (Revenge-drama; live-animation) ***l/2.
Cast: Sudeep, Samantha Prabhu, Naveen
Direction: 5 S Rajamouli
Duration: 2 hours 10 minutes
Language: Hindi-dubbed (U/A) 5

* Sudeep is a playboy who has wine, women and wealth at his disposal. But a housefly attacks his peace of mind. Will

Sudeep ever manage to get rid of the fly? South director S S Rajamouli has one of the most envied box office records in Telugu cinema. The eight films he has made across various genres of cinema, including Magadheera (historical drama) to Maryada Ramanna (comic-action) have turned to gold. His Makkhi, earlier released in July 2012 in Telugu as Eega and Tamil as Naan ee reached the 100-crore mark in those markets so quickly that it automatically lent itself to being dubbed in Hindi.
The story revolves around Sudeep (Sudeep), an opportunist and skirt-chaser, who will go to any lengths to seek wealth or to get a girl. When he sees a nubile Bindu (Samantha Prabhu), who runs an NGO, Sudeep wants her at any cost. But Bindu has eyes only for her neighbour young Jani (Naveen), a good Samaritan. Not accustomed to defeat, Sudeep puts up a continuous chase. He gets Jani out of the way or so it seems till you learn Jani's back. From here on screen proceedings in this revenge drama pep up.
Though the plot is for the most part predictable, Makkhi still offers situations that are truly gleeful to the young and the old alike. For once, the hero of this film, the fly, a common irritant in all our lives, enjoys our empathy instead of getting our wrath. His quest for revenge, somehow becomes our own battle for justice.
As Rajamouli's animated character goes about his business of destroying Sudeep and protecting Bindu, the viewer is ready to go along for the ride. Here one has to say that if the ride had been 15 minutes shorter, it would have been far racier. The portion involving a tantrik is pure hogwash and more suited to a B-grade horror film. But this is a minor irritant in an otherwise enjoyable film.
The animated makkhi is so full of life that he doesn't make you miss the presence of a beefy Khan, Kapoor or Kumar.
The animation is on par with some of the best in the West and Rajamouli's characterisation of the fly has to be seen to be believed. Makkhi dances as well as Hrithik Roshan and rides as good as Ajay Devgn; mouths dialogue like superstar Rajinikanth and even challenges his rivals to combat.

* Tip-Off: If Spiderman, Rajini and Salman are your cinema staple; Makkhi is for you.

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212.Chittagong (Historical Drama) ***1/2
Cast: Manoj Bajpayee, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Delzad Hiwaie, Barry John, Vega Tamotia
Direction:: Bedabrata Pain
Duration: 1 hour 40 minutes
Language: Hindi (U)

* Jhunku Roy joins Surya Sen's youth-brigade against the British — will he be free?

Who is your master? Someone who teaches you? Someone who rules you? Or your own inner voice? Chittagong answers this in sensitive style, following Jhunku Roy, the i14-year-old boy-soldier in schoolteacher Surya Sen's historical 1930s uprising against the British. Born to privilege, Jhunku is torn between studying at Oxford and being tutored by district magistrate Wilkinson (John) versus discovering his own inner self. When his friend is shot dead by vicious inspector Johnson, Jhunku chooses to join Chittagong's freedom struggle.
Hiwale performs marvelously as Jhunku. Film aficionados will spot the subtle resonances between Hiwale's protagonist and Aparajito's young Apu. But Jhunku is not alone — with a super performance by Siddiqui as Nirmal and Tamotia competent as Priti, Chittagong showcases the courage of extraordinary ordinary folk, fighting against a cruel Raj. Bajpayee presents a tightly. restrained performance as 'Master-da' while John captures Wilkinson, trapped between anger and admiration.
The camerawork is remarkable, framing locales like a Japanese painting, hills wreathed in mist, mangroves sunk in water, a Van Goghlike patchwork of green and yellow fields. It even reflects why the Andaman imprisonment was called 'kala pani' through shots of hopelessly dark waters. The music hops nimbly between yearning and rousing and some sequences — child soldiers fighting machine gun-bearing British troops, Jhunku beaten savagely by British officers in jail — are memorable.
The editing is over-zealous though. Barely do scenes with eye-catching period details start developing — like a tense dinner party at the Wilkinsons' — do they get cut. It takes the second half for the film to show more swagger as Jhunku grows up (played by Vijay Varma, whose angular looks add interest) and returns to Chittagong. This is a serious film — but far from somber, a tongue-tied Nirmal blushingly telling Priti, "Mujhe tumhare pyaar karne ki — matlab, lame ki shiddat bahut pasand hai," the brigade's youthful high spirits including stripping British guards and making them do utthak-baithak, and finally, the real 'Jhunku' or Subodh Roy talking about his life's most amazing experience.
Like a Chittagong orchid, the movie takes time to blossom — but when it does, it's beautiful. And pleases a certain master

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213.Looper (Scl-FI) ****
Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt
Direction: Rian Johnson
Duration: 1 hour 58 minutes
Language: English (A)

* Time travel is invented in the future but is soon made illegal. Misusing this system however, are mob bosses, who send their victims into the past to be shot by 'loopers', so that their very existence is wiped out. Trouble starts when a looper's own future self is sent into the past to be killed...

The film, set in the year 2044, opens with a bang (quite literally) where Joe (Gordon-Levitt with a considerable amount of makeup) shoots a victim sent back from the year 2074, with a blunderbuss In an empty field, collects the payment for his job — silver bars strapped to the bound and blindfolded victim's back — and proceeds to party it up with his pals. This is a pattern that he keeps repeating day after day A bachelor with a penchant for fine living, things go pretty smoothly for Joe. He shares his plans for early retirement in France with his stripper girlfriend Suzie (Piper Perabo), with the life of a paid assassin well behind him.
Life is somewhat peachy, until a fellow looper Seth (Paul Dano) who failed to carry out his mission (an immediate death sentence for a looper) arrives at Joe's apartment, begging for safe haven.
What follows is a cascade of events, with not a wasted second. This is a future where some humans have evolved enough to have telekinesis (or 'TK' as it's called in the movie) and events lead Joe to meet Sara (Emily Blunt), a tough country gal who knows her way around a shotgun. Joe's older self (Bruce Willis) plays the tough guy very convincingly. Indeed, all the performances are very good.
There are science fiction films that deal with the subject of time travel and then there is Looper, which comes across as refreshingly original as well as entertaining, with a story full of interesting twists. Notwithstanding the flash and slick visuals, director Rian Johnson always keeps the storyline to the fore. Events are explained in a fairly simple manner
as the plot smoothly unfolds. The film will leave you satisfied and entertained after one watch. And there's a pretty good chance you'd want to watch it again.

* Tip-Off: If you love science fiction films that are also high on drama and action, go for it.

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214.Taken 2 (Action) ***
Cast: Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace, Rade Serbedzija
Direction: Olivier Megaton
Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes
Language: English (A)

* Retired CIA operative Bryan Mills and his ex-wife get kidnapped while holidaying in Istanbul. His daughter manages to escape. Will she be able to 'save' the couple?

This sequel of 2008 hit Taken follows up a while after where the first film left off. Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) is finding it tough coming to terms with the fact that his daughter Kim is seeing a boy and may be serious about him. The fact that she had been the recent victim of a kidnapping attempt foiled by her father is not lost on her. Father and daughter are still close and he wants nothing more than to ensure his family is safe. So, when his ex-wife Lenore complains about a cancelled trip, he consoles her and asks them to join him after 'work' (an assignment where he provides security to rich, high-risk clients) in Istanbul.
Meanwhile, in faraway Albania, a village mourns at a mass burial. All the men dead at the hands of Bryan, punished for daring to kidnap his daughter and trying to sell her into prostitution. It is there that the main kidnapper's father Murad Krasniqi (Rade Serbedzija) vows to avenge his son and his men by capturing Mills and taking him back to his village for vengeance.
As luck would have it, Lenore lands up in Istanbul with Kim and the family spends some quality time together. Their happiness is shortlived as Bryan and his ex-wife are chased and then 'taken' soon after. He manages to send out a call to his daughter at their hotel and warn her of the impending danger. He asks her to get to the safety of the US embassy but she insists on rescuing them. So he guides her to where they're being held. After that, it's a will-she won't-she affair?
Screenwriter Luc Besson and director Olivier Megaton play to their strengths. Both have made films that have involved either abductions or high-octane action sequences and car chases. Liam Neeson mouths the cheesy lines and still sounds believable. If you're a fan of the actor or films with a similar storyline, you will enjoy this one. The car chases and the hand-to-hand fight scenes are not to be missed. Despite his bad-man act, Rade as Murad plays a convincing father driven mad by grief and your heart does reach out to him, never mind the evil he so clearly embodies. Also, this is one of those revenge flicks where you know how it could end but you'll strap on your seatbelt and go along for the ride anyway.

* Tip-Off: If you aren't a fan of violence and gore, you would be better off skipping certain scenes.

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215.English Vinglish (Social drama) ****
Cast: Sridevi, Adil Hussain, Mehdi Nebbou, Amitabh Bachchan (interesting cameo)
Direction: Gauri Shinde
Duration: 2 hours 15 mins
Language: Hindi (U)

* Shashi Godbole is a super-sensitive wife, mother and daughter-in-law; a perfect homemaker and small-time entrepreneur. Her only handicap is English. Does she manage to master the Queen's language?

Shashi Godbole (Sridevi) is your average, upper-middle-class mother of two, whose special skills also include making ladoos. In fact, so good is her sweetmeat she even markets it.
But one skill that Shashi lacks is speaking English. This makes her the constant butt of jokes and rebuttal with her husband (Adil Hussain) and teenage daughter (Navika Kotia). The film drives home the point that those who speak
English fluently usually adapt a condescending attitude towards those who don't.
Mind you, Shashi is not your average Jane. When opportunity takes her to New York for a niece's wedding, the sari-clad Shashi steals a few hours each day and enrols for a four-week crash course in English.
Here begins a hilarious yet heartrending tale where Shashi and a motley bunch of a Spanish nanny, Eva (Ruth Aguilar); a Tamil software engineer, Rama (Rajeev Ravindranathan); a Chinese beautician, Yu Son (Maria Romano); a French cook,
Laurent (Mehdi Nebbou); a Pakistani cabbie, Salman Khan (Sumeet Vyas); an African dancer, Udumbke (Damian Thompson) guided by an English tutor, David(Cory Hibbs) show you spunk and determination can help you overcome obstacles anytime or anywhere.
The students of the English class also act as a support system to the protagonist, who despite her own dedication, finds that complacency has slipped into her marriage and there's self-respect lacking in her relationship with her teenage daughter.
In Laurent, the Frenchman's attraction for her, Shashi rediscovers her own self-worth. Equipped with his attention and her now newfound knowledge of English, she finds wings to soar.
Easily one of the best films of 2012; English Vinglish is a tale of women empowerment (actually it is bound to empower every viewer) because it strikes a chord, right from the start to the end titles.
Debutant Gauri Shinde, who made advertising films before she ventured into the feature area, proves she's an ace cinema writer-director. The result is a sweet, sensitive and superlative film that makes you laugh, cry and smile. Every emotion is identifiable, every nuance is balanced. The characters are real, the performances effortless.
Amit Trivedi's music is hummable. The title track, Gustakh dil, the Marathi remix of the Navrai Mazhi; all of it is mesmerizing. The beauty of the soundtrack is that it flows naturally, without disturbing the narrative. Trivedi's track also gets you to question why other mainstream filmmakers make such a song and dance of bawdy lyrics and item songs, when there is such joy in simplicity.
Sridevi is the backbone of EV. Anxiety, anger, arrogance, anguish, attraction, the actress conveys emotions effortlessly with or without words. Returning to the silver screen after a 15-year hiatus, Sri's performance here is a master-class for actors. So much so, that you keep applauding her, long after the lights come on. One must also put in a word of praise for the performances of Sri's son Sagar (Shivansh Kotia), an adorable moppet who you want to take home with you. And her ma-in-law, Mrs Godbole (Sulabha Desh-pande), a delight to watch, as always.

Tip-off: English Vinglish has the feelgood factor. It's the movie to which you must take your grandmother, mother, sister, wife, sweetheart and saas.

Final word: Request you to make a little place next to you, Rajkumar Hirani; Gauri Shinde has taken a bow in mainstream Bollywood.

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216.KLPD (Kismet, Love, Paisa, Dilli) (sex-comedy) **
Cast: Vivek Oberoi, Mallika Sherawat, Ashutosh Rana, Anshuman Jha, Navin Kaushik
Direction: Sanjay Khanduri
Duration: 2 hours 15 minutes
Language: Hindi (U/A)

* 'Lucky' boy catches the last metro only to realize he's making all the wrong stops. What follows is a bizarre night of misadventures.

This one's no 'stand-up' comedy. Neither will any part of you feel like giving it a standing ovation. This is as much of a dhoka, as the slang version of KLPD actually suggests. It is a string of episodes, part slap-stick, part ridiculous, part comedy (the smallest part, of course) that all happens in one long night. It starts right here. At a fashion show called En'gay'ged 377 (corny!) hosted by legendary 'man-eater', Rohit Pichwadia (hinting at some back-door activity, if you didn't get it), where Lucky (Vivek Oberoi) lands up to help his buddy shoot the event. He ends up spiking drinks by peeing into it (say it... yucks!), and falling for Lovina (Mallika Sherawat). He follows her into the night, where one by one the nocturnal crazy creatures crawl out, trapping Lucky in a web of madcap situations and silly shenanigans. He is on the run, and everyone is out to get him (laid too). There's a group of local Jat goons headed by Kaptaan (Ashutosh Rana), clueless cops, and sons of sardars doing their usual band-baaja-bhangra. There are more samples coming up — A bakery boy, Nunna (read: small-size, getit?) who bites off people's ears with a vengeance (how 'Twilight'!), and a confusing 'quickie' by a character called Aarti Utaru (say Hi to Neha Dhupia).
With a Haryanvi accent, and lingo that includes tapori words like tota, maal, chhatri, Vivek tries hard to make this a legit laugh-a-thon. But with excessive toilet humour, and a script that leaves no scope for anything but that, he can't keep going for too long. Mallika Sherawat, plays Lucky's raat-ki-hamsafar (hums a few songs and suffers through the rest of the night). In this mediocre melange, Ashutosh Rana rises a notch above the rest, but adds no highs anyway. KLPD is not a patch on director Sanjay Khanduri's first film, Ek Chalis Ki Last Local. In fact, this one goes totally off-track. If you are sex (comedy)-starved, this one won't do much for your appetite.

Tip-off: 'KLPD' is loaded with lewd jokes, and double-meaning dialogues. So if you're not a fan of the birds, bees and bathroom humour, stay away.

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217.Killing Them Softly (thriller) ***1/2
Cast: Brad Pitt, Scoot McNairy, Richard Jenkins, James Gandolfini
Direction: Andrew Dominik
Duration: 1 hour 38 minutes
Language: English (A)

* When a rich-boy poker game gets robbed, hit-man Jackie Cogan hunts those involved — what does Jackie mean by killing them softly?

Killing Them Softly (KTS) isn't a movie for the faint-hearted — but despite its guns and gore, it isn't an all-out action flick either. Instead, it inhabits a shadowy half-land between thriller and dark comedy, where wanna-be gangsters wear washing-up gloves to a heist, a hit-man dismisses a businessman's fear of murder — preferring severe beating instead — as "total corporate mentality", an assassin says, "Killing someone can get embarrassing. Touchy-feely. I like to kill them softly — from a distance."
Jackie Cogan's (Pitt) distance from his victims doesn't make his heart grow fonder though. Pitt plays an emotionless killer who manages murderers and does the dirty himself, stabbing friends, shooting the guileless, turning comrades to the cops. Cogan's cynicism coats everything, even 2008's Democrat Barack Obama who, on TV bravely rallies a Bush-ed America. "This guy wants to tell me we're living in a community," Cogan hisses to his corporate client (Jenkins).

"Don't make me laugh. We're living in America and you're on your own. America's not a country It's just a business. Now fu****** pay me."
KTS showcases an America devastated by recession, its underbelly worst-hit as mobsters must turn on their own, their pistols controlled by penny-pinching corporates. It's a smart, sardonic view and despite some self-indulgent flailing, it captures the fear, loathing and loss of those caught against the American machine. As deadpan Jackie,
Pitt oozes starry radiance, sometimes too glossy for his dark protagonist. His looking fabulous in every frame is a distraction—although, amidst people's brains being blown out, not always unwelcome. McNairy's remarkable as a boisterous bandit frightened witless, Gandolfini superb as Mickey, a fat, boozy, over-sexed hit-man, flown in "coach" for a job he's not upto, everyone wrapped within a dreamy soundtrack that provocatively slides against the gore onscreen.
KTS's real star is actually its sound — rain pattering upon a Cadillac to crickets chirruping just before someone gets shot, olives bobbing in a Martini to police sirens wailing in the wind, KTS captures America's enormity, emptiness and excitement — often killing the listener with silence. And some dynamite lines.

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218.The Possession (Horror) ***
Cast: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Natasha Calis, Kyra Sedgwick, Matisyahu
Direction: Ole Bornedal
Duration: 1 hour 32 minutes
Language: English (A)

* A girl gets possessed by an evil spirit. Will her father be able to get rid of the curse that plagues his child?

A young girl (Natasha Calis).buys an 1 antique wooden box at a yard sale. Intrigued by the box with a Hebrew inscription on it, she opens it! An evil spirit is unleashed, putting her and her family's life in danger. Will the family-survive the demonic attack? The film is apparently based on a true story.
The film title pretty much says it all. Years after The Exorcist (1973) was made, filmmakers still seek inspiration from the horror classic. What distinguishes The Possession from The Exorcist is merely the mention of demons in Judaism. Barring the Jewish angle, The Possession too is about a young girl who's been possessed by a mysterious evil spirit.
The girl starts displaying bouts of violent and bizarre behaviour. Her divorced parents fail to decode her dilemma and evidences of demonic possession. The father (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), however, senses trouble eventually and wages war against the demon, seeking help of a Jewish exorcist (played by reggae-pop star Matisyahu). Will the demon let go of the girl?
The Possession is high on suspense. It even manages to keep you engaged throughout with its haunting background score and quaint big houses. The actors do a fine job. The very young Natasha Calis is extremely convincing.
The film, however, is low on originality and pace. Bornedal's storytelling drags and gets repetitive, thus diluting moments which could have been scarier. The suspense unfolds a bit too late for it to be too creepy. Tracks like the parents being divorced and the girl vomiting bugs seem cliched. The Possession is a Jewish Exorcist. It's griping but lacks novelty.

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219.Pairon Talle (drama) **
Cast: Dibyendu Bhattacharya, Saba Joshi, Avatar Sahani, Geeta Bisht, Manav Kaushik
Direction: Sidharth Srinivasan
Duration: 1 hour 38 minutes
Language: Hindi (A)

* It's the clash of classes. A poor chowkidaar is exploited by his monstrous maalik, who believes in crushing anything lowly under his feet. This socio-economic drama attempts to expose the imbalance of paisa, power and privileges in our country.

It's Dilli again. Minus Chandni Chowk and chaat, baraats and bhangra, lassi and ladkis. Not that there's anything wrong with Delhi a few shades X duller, but the film starts out on an interesting premise, and rolls onto the
beaten track, riddled with characters and climaxes that are mediocre and mundane. Set in a ghostly abandoned mine, that has only an impoverished couple Bhanu (Dibyendu Bhattacharya) and Saroj (Saba Joshi), and a junked bulldozer for company, the story revisits an age-old saga. Of land politics, poor suppressed by the rich, fight for love against power, Pajeros running over poverty lines, sweat of labour (with no dignity), cracked heels and a crumbling society.
Bhanu's inherited his father's lowly legacy, of being the sole watch-guard to a mine (with a laathi for a weapon) that's turned into barren land. His only ambition is maalik ki seva (or let's say ghulami). even if it's at the cost of stripping his dignity and trading his soul. Talk about selling the soul, his maalik, Lakshmichand (Avatar Sahani), is a tyrannical, cold-hearted SOB (son of a *****) who won't cringe before selling his daughter to another older SOB, or hiring contract killers, or raping a bechari nari. Throw in a stereotypical corrupt cop, lovers on-the-run, a masked murderer and a bloody chain of events.
Dibyendu Bhattacharya convincingly plays a character who is deprived (of dignity and dimes), oppressed by the bullying boss and victimized by his ill-fate. His performance wins a vote of sympathy. Saba Joshi, fierce in flashes, is the only sight to the sore eyes in this dusty drama. Avatar Sahani evokes rage with his brutality, mean streak, and blurred bare-butt scenes.
Director Sidharth Srinivasan, packs in everything that an Amiri-Garibi story is made of, with cli-ched metaphors, tiring twists, gaalis and gore. There are moments where you empathize with the characters, and you're waiting for the idea to germinate, but it gets 'trampled' along the way.
This one isn't a 'class' apart.

The world celebrates 50 years of Beatle mania, and the cult band's first hit single record 'Love Me Do' on October 5.

the year 1962 will go down in history for American icon Marilyn Monroe's death and Nelson Mandela's prison sentence. But then a seemingly insignificant event that occurred that year went on to be a precursor for the decade's definitive sensation. In June 1962, four boys from Liverpool, England, recorded their first single Love Me Do — backed by another single P.S.I Love You — and later went on to become the greatest band in the world. Released on October 5 that year, The Beatles' seminal first recording established the group that went on to influence pop culture, fashion, spirituality and politics like no other.


The magic of LOVE ME DO
What sets apart this incredibly simple three-chord song (with an austere four-note harmonica riff is, in fact, its simplicity. For starters, compared to the "clean" hits of those days, it had a "rough" sound. Another reason was a slow "skiffle" beat—skiffle was a craze in the late 19 50s (the song was written between 1958 and 1959). Skiffle is jazz, folk, or country music played using unconventional instruments, such as kazoos, washboards or jugs, sometimes in combination. Young people were attracted to the song's instrumentation, because even ordinary players could master an acoustic guitar and two or three chords.
It was also not the norm for bands to write their own songs. With Paul McCartney and John Lennon sharing writing credits, Love Me Do was different. Says singer Gary Lawyer, who has been part of innumerable Beatles tribute concerts, "I was a school goer when the song became a craze. I still remember how great I felt when I first heard it. My friends and I used to play it at every party we threw." The track's easy but powerful lyrics have a special significance for him. Love is a sweet and true emotion, full of innocence and that blush of a first crush.
Perhaps that's why it still features in music polls on the most popular love songs of all time.
The innocence of the words has its roots in their inspiration. The lyrics have a direct link ^H^ with McCartney and Lennon's love for the liter- ^Ep» ary works of Lewis Carroll. The phrase "love, love me do" is straight from the Carroll era—'Alice, stop daydreaming, do!" for instance. Lennon's obsession with Carroll continued throughout his Beatles song-writing career, as seen in Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds and I Am The Walrus.

The British invasion was black
McCartney is also quoted as saying this song was their attempt to "do the blues", although it came out "whiter, because it always does". What Americans viewed as t the unique 'British Invasion' sound was in actuality The Beatles' at-tempt to sound black.

Recorded thrice
It's an unusual single for another reason—it was recorded on three different occasions with three different drummers: June 6, and September 4 and 11 in 1962. The Beatles first recorded it on June 6, 1962 with Pete Best on drums. By September 4, È Best had been replaced with Ringo Starr because producer George Martin said he did not approve of Best's drumming. One week lat-er, on September 11, The Beatles returned to the same studio and made another recording with session drummer Andy ^ jm White, since Martin was unhappy with Starr's performance!
Despite all this, Love Me Do almost lost out on being their debut number. At their September 4 session, Martin decided their first single should be How Do You Do It? written by another lyricist. But the band didn't like it and did some lacklustre takes of the song on purpose. Eventually, Martin changed his mind and How Do You Do It? was released by the I band Gerry and the Pacemakers in 1964.
Although not as legendary, P.S. I Love You has unusual chords and a song structure compared to Love 1 Me Do. It has a completely different arrangement, and 1 is an early indicator of the variety of music The Beatles went on to record.

A Lady Teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class.
Madam asked the Boy. 'What is your problem?'
Boy answered :'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'
Madam took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited outside the office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his Questions he had to go back to the first-grade. Madam agreed.
The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.


Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam said to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions'.
'Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asked: 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy: after a moment 'Legs.'
Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy: 'Pockets.'
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..
Boy: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: 'Tent'
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: 'Wedding Ring'
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: 'Nose'
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: 'Arrow'
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: 'Fire truck'
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy: 'Fork'
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: 'SURNAME.'
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, likes pumping, and is responsible for making love ?
Boy: 'HEART.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
'Send this Boy to 10th Grade'
I got the last ten questions wrong myself...... ....!!!!! !!!!

ViewPure
Distracted by all the clutter—the comments, related videos, likes and dislikes—that surrounds videos on YouTube? ViewPure promises relief. Head to the website and paste the URL of the video you want to watch.
The 'Options' button will allow you further customization: personalized URL for your ViewPure video, choice between white and black backgrounds, password protection, etc. Of course, you can skip all this tweaking and simply hit 'Create' to get a clean and minimalistic interface. No distraction. viewpure.com

Veedcast
There's a joy in the shared experience of going to a movie with a friend. Veedcast wants to help recreate that camaraderie through the internet. Using the app, you and your pals can watch the same video at the same time: all from your respective homes.
Head to Veedcast and you are prompted to start with the link of the video you want to watch with friends. Hit 'Create a Veedcast channel' and your own private room is created, with a link you can share with friends. Once your friends have logged on, start playing the video - they'll see what you are seeing on your screen, at the same time. As the 'host', you get control of the video playback. However, everyone can post comments in the same window for a convenient

Deturl
If you love a video, you naturally want to download it. But YouTube does not have an option for you to j ust click and get the file onto your hard drive. Enter Deturl.
If the video in question has the URL "www.youtube.com/abcdefg", simply add "pwn" to it such that you get "www.pwnyoutube.com/abcdefg". Hit enter and you'll be taken directly to the Deturl page.
Downloading is made simpler by Deturl's aggregation service, which has the best Youtube video conversion and download tools at the convenience of a click. There are options to convert the video to FLV, MP4 and many other formats, as well as the ability to extract only the audio and convert it to MP 3. Nice and easy. deturl.com

Tubechop
Sometimes, the best part of a video is only a short clip. Why subject your friends to the whole video then? Tube-Chop is a simple app that allows you to clip a section of a video to share with your friends.
Go to the site, paste the URL and you're ready to start. TubeChop gives you a progress bar with two markers. Drag the Start marker and the End marker to where you want (you can also customize it by typing the exact time in the given boxes) and click on the Start marker again to preview your video. If you're satisfied, you can add a comment to the video or simply click 'chop it'. You'll get a custom TubeChop link that you can embed in a website or share with anyone.

203.OMG: Oh My God (comedy) ***1/2
Cast: Paresh Rawal, Akshay Kumar, Mithun Chakraborty, Govind Namdeo, Mahesh Manjrekar, Om Puri
Direction: Umesh Shukla
Duration: 2 hours, 15 minutes
Language: Hindi (U)

* Atheist Kanjilal Mehta takes 'God' to court after an earthquake destroys his shop. Suddenly, 'Krishna Vasudev Yadav' shows up — does divine intervention occur?

Straight on, OMG is Paresh Rawal's movie — and one of his best. Akshay Kumar plays a small and sacred role but OMG is largely powered by Rawal's performance as Kanjilal Mehta, a cynical Gujarati shopkeeper in Mumbai's Chor Bazaar, hardcore atheist who merrily dupes the believing into buying Krishna statues before whom Kanji trills, "Kootchie kootchie, natkhat" The atheist even disrupts a matkipho-ro ceremony for Krishna where, despite a cracking guest performance by Sonakshi Sinha and Prabhudeva to 'Go-Go-Go-Govin-da' — watch the latter's buttery moves and the former's rock-chick hair — Kanjilal rains on the party.
An earthquake follows, reducing just one shop to rubble — Kan-jilal's. His insurance company refuses to pay, citing
an act of God. Facing ruin, Kanji takes God — as represented by 'collection officers', religious leaders Swami Leeladhar (Chakraborty, super), Sid-dheshwar (Namdeo, hamming it up to Italian deli-level) and sexy sanyasin Mata Gopi (Poonam Jhawar) — to court demanding compensation. Goons try to kill Kanji - but 'consultant' Krishna Vasudev Yadav saves him via a thrilling motorbike ride — then moves into his house. The trial circles deep philosophy, yet tongues stay firmly in cheek as Kanji tells the outraged swamis. "Ye mujhe kva Gita sikhayenge — inka IQ room temperature se bhi low hai."
Rawal is pure pleasure when he S naughtily points out, "Recession mein toh inka dhanda double ho jata hai!", when
debating being II boiled in oil down in hell, he asks, 11 "Mein aadmi hoonya pakora?" or, ft when he states that such
religion il — superstition, fear, ignorance "insaan ko bebas ya aatankwadi banata hai." It is far better, he remarks,
to donate milk to the hun-S gry than pour it over a shrine and into a drain, to give to the needy rather than enrich
religious commerce working on human weakness and woe via 'exchange offers' with the divine.
Rawal's conviction is OMG's bedrock — but its beauty comes from his dynamics with Krishna (Kumar, channeling a Twilightlike zone of motorbikes, overcoats and chiseled looks), who saves his life, educates him via sacred texts and
gently instructs an annoyed housewife yelling Kanji is a nastik to eat her ice-cream before it melts.
Few Bollywood actors do loopy-plus-hot as well as Kumar and he's silken here, all delicate hints and half-smiles, smoothly playing the flute as Kanji shouts, "O Hari Prasad! O Chaurasia"
Their chemistry is electric, Rawal wryly noting, "Suit-boot mein aya Kanhaiya", backed by Chakraborty too, biting into the role of a long-haired swami speaking in softly mincing tones, using his hands down to one finger in a terrific take-off. Other's acting (Puri, a Muslim lawyer helping Kanji, Manjrekar as lawyer Sarde-sai, Lubna Salim as Kanji's wide-eyed wife Susheela) is strictly average but covered by an astonishingly good background track pepping up the pace, adding zing but never distracting from a complex story told in a simple way.
On the downside, OMG's production values are not high-gloss and it sags and looks stagey at times. Importantly though, in a nation obsessed with taweezes and tonsures, fasts and fasaads, the symbolic over the sensible, OMG conveys a serious message this festive season — God is to be found in human beings. And, rather like Hindi films of an earlier age, it does so in a light and unusual way. Hallelujah.

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204.Resident Evil: Retribution (3D) (action) ***
Cast: Milla Jovovich, Bingbing Li, Sienna Guillory, Boris Kodjoe
Direction: Paul W S Anderson
Duration: 1 hour 36 minutes
Language: English (A)

* The human race once again faces extinction. And. the only hope for survival, as always, is Alice (Milla Jovovich). But how?

Her name is Alice and that is her wonderland — a land you'd love to be a part of, specially if 3D is the way of life.
Here cities do not exist for real; they are all but a part of the imagination and holographic representations called
Sequences. There's the New York sequence of bio chemicals, Tokyo sequence of artificial climate, Moscow sequence of
snow-covered areas. In short, the setting (hi-tech stuff, we mean) is perfect.
Now for the action and all that scary stuff the Resident Evil series is usually made up of. Well, the fifth installment has its share of action — bullets, bombs and the zombies that make you sit up as the blood and gore hits your face. However, when the emphasis is too much on all that long drawn conversation leading to longer gaps in the action cuts, you end up feeling a bit distracted. But then when the zombies and the Red Queen with her death threat — 'You are all going to die down there' — are back on screen, you know why the series has a strong fan base.
Finally, over to the main 'hero' of this wonderland — Alice, aka Milla. As always, like the quintessential female warrior, she plays the role almost to perfection, battling ogres and monsters of all shapes and sizes, and jumping off here, there, everywhere. What's more, she also has Ada Wong (Bingbing Li) to help her spill guts, specially when Milla is seen falling and running from her enemies (a couple of times).
Just one wish: Hope the sixth movies in the series — as made pretty evident in the last scene — has our Alice girl kicking some more butt. After all, that's what she's good at.... And that's precisely what we want to see her do....

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205.Kamaal Dhamaal Malamaal (comedy) *
Cast: Shreyas Talpade, Om Puri, Nana Patekar, Paresh Rawal, Neeraj Vohra, Madhhurima, Asrani
Direction: Priyadarshan
Duration: 2 hours 27 minutes
Language: Hindi (U/A)

* Hundred characters, a few losers, mistaken identities and dreams of a happy harvest amidst a friendly feud—all in a Priyadarshan village. Get it?

Bring out your 'marker pens' Hand get ready to 'check' if this fits the bill for a typical Priyadarshan comedy.
1. An almost-rural setting.
2. A medley of whimsical character artists.
3. A complex, chaotic parivaar choc-o-bloc with more betas, betis, chachas and chamchas than TV-Land's epic shows.
4. Stupidly, strictly, slap-sticky.
5. A parallel romantic side-track that contributes one sugary spoonful-of-story to this mash-up.
6. A crazed-ending where everyone (from star-to-junior-artiste-to clapper-boy) appears in a mad-melodrama called 'Priyan's Climax'... Aaah!
KDM makes all these f 'checks' — Yes! Priyan and his motley crew are back, but this | plough of his only reproduces S a bad crop.
Rewind to two friends, David (Om Puri) and Peter's (Paresh Rawal) fallout, where David went on to marry Mary (Peter's
sweetheart), and they both settled in the same damned village; with the burning issue being a 22-carat gold 'cross'
stolen from the church (for Christ's sake!). David's son, Johnny (Shreyas), called Bakri by all (since he lacks
'balls' and bheja; bleat, bleat!), is in love with Peter's daughter, Maria (Madhhurima), who has a female bodyguard
called Bulbul Pehel-wan (Pratima Kazmi), total Da-bangg Sallu-style. And while his cranky, overworked baap digs away
(like a Mumbai BMC labourer on a normal day) at the barren land; Bakri dreams of being a crorepati soon, by collecting lottery tickets.
Enter the silent, brooding, hungry-man-with-no-name (Nana Patekar), who is probably David's long-lost son (Amen!) or
maybe not? He eats like a beast and digs like a miner (probably looking for missing parts of this script); dramatically changing the lives of all the Davids, Peters, Repeaters, Bakris and Bulbuls here. Good Lord bless our popcorn!
One thing Priyadarshan doesn't do is 'lose the plot' here; simply because there isn't one to begin with. With clichéd
humour that forces more yawns than laughs; blah-lines; Oddball characters and OTT situations; and of course the
quintessential item number (Anjana Sukhani) that adds to the fizzle (cross-our-hear ts-and-hope-to-fry).
Shreyas's character is spineless but he does his best to 'back' it. Nevertheless, with such a weak story there's nothing that can help him win a jackpot. Om Puri attempts to 'bear the cross', but there's no redemption. Nana Patekar puts up a tough-guy act (when was the last time he didn't?) and walks through the film with a few dialogues (guess, there's nothing more to say) and a deadpan expression. Paresh Rawal is completelv wasted.
Our suggestion? Skip it. And save yourself from becoming a bakra.

His has been a chequered career. From the slash and burn Murder to the charming Life in a Metro and the disastrous Kites. But with Barfi, both his and his star Ranbir Kapoor's finest film to date, Anurag Basu has become the toast of Bollywood. In this interview, the 38-year-old cancer survivor talks about cheating death, his sheet anchor Mahesh Bhatt and why he will never again make a film which he has not written himself. Excerpts:

How did you get Into films?

I am from a traditional middle-class, culturally inclined Bengali family from Bhilai. My mom and dad were amateur theatre artists due to which my childhood was spent in green rooms. In Bhilai, the only way to a future was to study engineering. I got admission in Jabalpur engineering college but did not join and instead came to Mumbai with the dream of being a part of the entertainment industry I wanted to join FTII to become a cameraman but for that, I needed to study Physics. I got a chance during my second year of college in Mumbai when I was selected as a background dancer in Prakash Mehra's Dalai. After completing my graduation, I gave myself six months to start working in films. I used to write my plays and would stand outside film sets asking for work to become an assistant director. Raman Kumar was making the serial Tara then. I was lucky that only a few months after assisting him I became the director of the serial. After Tara, I started getting work and went on to direct several television serials.
Bhatt Sahab saw some of my work and said I was cut out for the movies. A few years later, I met him at the Delhi airport when he asked me to direct my first film for him, Saaya. After which, I did Murder for him.

You were diagnosed with leukemia. Can you talk a little about those trying days

I had just finished Murder, got married to my girlfriend and we were expecting our first baby when I was diagnosed with leukemia. It was like a filmy anticlimax where everything was going just right in my life when I was told this shocking news. Initially I did not take it seriously but then I realised it was very bad. The cancer cells were multiplying fast and the doctors kept altering my chances of survival from 50:50 to two months to finally two weeks. Then I heard about Doctor Sripad Banawali at Tata Memorial whose medication was different from the rest and who said that there may be a chance. Sunil Dutt sahab was then alive and he got me a bed with great difficulty I was taken in and straight away put on a ventilator. I did not feel much as I was unconscious but it was difficult for my family who sat outside the ICU for over two weeks. While the treatment played a large part in bringing me back to life, the
one thing I wanted to live for was to see the face of my child. I did not think of living for long, but I did not want to die without seeing the face of my child. So I feel my daughter Ishana gave me strength to fight at that time. After my treatment, many production houses — including Mukta Arts — who had signed me, could not risk taking me on as a director. I had run out of savings so I went back to television for my livelihood.
During my treatment, Bhatt Sahab, Mukeshji and Chotu mausie (Bhatt Sahab's sister, whom I am very close to) stood by me, and they were very concerned about my health. They even delayed Gangster for me as they wanted me to become absolutely okay before I could direct it. I had lost my hair and would wear a face mask to avoid infections but Bhatt Sahab really took care of me.

Does facing death so closely change your outlook in life?

After my illness, my priorities took a complete turn. In stead of fame and money, my priorities became my family and work.

You are known to make a certain kind of cinema. Kites was an exception. Want to talk about that?

Kites was written by Rakesh Roshan; not me. I am from a small town and have always been attracted to big cars and sets. The story of Kites, when I first heard it, seemed very different and I immediately lapped up the offer to direct it. Many production houses, Rakesh Roshan's included, work in a rather democratic way where every little thing is decided after a discussion. My weakness is that I cannot convince anyone. I was used to Bhatt Sahab's way of working where once he signs you up, he steps in only if you need him. Mukeshji will give you a budget and expect you to shoot within that. I remember during one of the schedules of Gangster, we all took turns to cook because the budget did not permit us to hire a cook as we had exceeded our monies. Mukeshji would say if you want to shoot in Korea, you are welcome, but you need to manage within your monies. However, you were given complete creative freedom. If Bhatt Sahab was to call me anytime to do a film for him, I would run and do it. But I will never again direct a film that I have not written. Kites was also marketed wrongly. We failed in telling our audience that the film was also in Spanish and English and so we got a lot of negativity due to setting up of wrong expectations. It was a small film which became expensive as we were making it and thus even though it was a big grosser, it made a loss.

You've worked with some of the best actors in the industry-have any of them become your friends?

Ranbir is a beautiful person which is rare in the industry. He is not too much in love with himself, is easy-going and casual. He is very transparent and that shows up in his acting. Emraan Hashmi again is like that. He loves his wife and is not too much in love with himself. Both of them have become friends.

It's been a good ride — you've beaten cancer, made successful films. Any regrets?

During the making of Kites, I lost my father who meant everything to me. I blame myself for his death. I was writing a death scene in a television serial and imagined how it would be if my dad died. That night, I went into his room, hugged him and came back. Shortly after I had written that scene he had a heart attack and died. I was shattered and it affected everything in my life. My dad, an actor, had wanted to succeed in Mumbai. Even though my father lived his dream to be a part of Bollywood through me, I always felt guilty that I became successful while he could not. I only hit the ball while he brought it to the tee. He was my motivation and I miss him greatly

190.Heroine (Drama) ***
Cast: Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Randeep Hooda, Ranveer Shorey, Divya Dutta
Direction: Madhur Bhandarkar
Duration: 2 hours 28 mins
Language: Hindi (A)

* Mahi Arora has all the trappings of a Bollywood superstar — name, fame and fortune. Unfortunately she's also a manic depressive and constantly courts a death wish. Will Mahi succumb to her weakness or will she manage to stay afloat?

Multiple National Award - winning filmmaker Madhur Bhandarkar takes vicarious pleasure in giving his audience a ring-side view of various walks of life. His Chandni Bar (2001) dealt with Mumbai dance-bars; Page-3 (2005) showed the shallow side of the media and celebrity circus; Fashion (2008) dealt with the steamier side of the fashion industry. And one must say here that in each of his previous works Madhur was far more in control of proceedings than he is in Heroine — a film that superficially traces Bollywood's underbelly
The protagonist is Mahi Arora (Kareena Kapoor), a superstar who has the world at her feet, for a bit, in the beginning of the film. Unfortunately, she is fashionably diagnosed with the bipolar syndrome and is happy to destroy herself in her various relationships. If you are wondering why sunshine girl Mahi is on a constant emotional rollercoaster, the narrative tells you that she has had a messed up childhood, and hence she has developed this masochistic streak,
So, on one hand Mahi is cutting ribbons and shooting for a dozen endorsements. But quickly enough she is also threatened by the arrival of the younger actresses and awards that go missing. To add to her woes, she's drawn like a moth to a flame to her married co-star Aryan Khanna (Arjun Rampal), a cad.
Very clearly, the written material at hand draws from unflattering accounts of various real and reel Hindi film heroines of the 80s (unfair to name them because a couple of them are not even around to defend themselves), who were in messy situations with their married co-stars.
In a bid to pack in every piece of studio gossip ever heard, Heroine makes Mahi swing from a relationship with a married actor to another with a successful cricketer (Randeep Hooda). Cloning stereotypes of what the middle-class call liberated; Mahi is also shown smoking, drinking and popping pills so frequently; she seems more like a social hazard than a free-thinking girl.
The film is made enjoyable by some pithy dialogue credited to Niranjan Iyengar. Sample this: aap media waalon ko toh script likhna chahiye. Heroine ne gaadi le li toh businessman ne gift kardi; diamond khareeda, toh engagement ho gayi; hospital gayi check up ke liye, toh abortion ho gaya, LA gayi toh plastic surgery karva liya, aur Dubai gayi toh, uska rate card ban jata hai.
Heroine would have been crisper had it not digressed to cover every Bollywood insider account. When the maker attempts to show mainstream cinema's condescending attitude towards art house films, precious screen time is lost. Mahi's attempt to play a prostitute and say scandalous lines are clearly attempted to woo the front-benchers but the gig lacks conviction. The music is a complete let down and even the item song 'Halkat Jaawani' fails to give the required 'rise' to proceedings.
Of course, the saving grace of the film is Kareena who not only looks drop-dead gorgeous but is also adept as the girl interrupted.

* Tip-Off: Heroine is Kareena's Dirty Picture. The actress has shown ample cleavage and partaken in some really intimate bedroom scenes. Definitely worth a dekho!

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191.Moonrise Kingdom (dramedy) ***
Cast: Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward
Direction: Wes Anderson
Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes
Language: English (U)

* Pre teens, Sam and Suzy, run away from home, fall in love and decide to eventually settle down in marriage. Back home it's time for some crazy search missions and rescue operations.

The year is 1965. The place is the island of New Penzance where paved roads do not exist. And the lovers in question are two adolescents, still immature, still growing up. And that is what makes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom different.
Though in the earlier years of teendom, Sam and Suzy do everything that perhaps a grown up, madly in love, duo would. They talk of sweet nothings. They dream of settling down in no man's land. They read poetry and tales to one another. And bringing life to all this drama — not for a single moment does all that teen-turned-adult philosophies and ideologies look comic — are the performance by the leads, Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward. The two bring out the stupidity of teen life and the over carefulness of adulthood with ease. In fact, the two make adolescence, growing up and first love seem like Cakewalk.
Now, for the fun part. It's out and out situational. Because back home, searching for the two eloped lovers, are a whole lot of people — Suzy's family, Sam's foster parents (who incidentally are not interested in his whereabouts), the neighbours, the social workers (who think the two need electric shocks to overcome absurdity in behaviour), the Khaki scouts of North America lead by scoutmaster Master Ward (Edward Norton), and of course, the well under-played, island cop, Captain Sharp (Bruce Willis).
Just make sure you follow Wes Anderson pretty well to get the idea bang on.

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192.Sammy 2 (animation) ***
Cast: Voice of Isabelle Fuhrman, Wesley Johnny, Joe Thomas, Billy Unger
Direction: Ben Stassen and Vincent Kesteloot
Duration: 1 hour 45 minutes
Language: English (U)

* Two granddad turtles go all out to save their grandchildren from the mean birds. But while doing so they are captured by the same old enemy of birds and beasts — Man. Time for the big escape.

The first impression: You love the X sea turtles, the lobsters, the baby turtles, the clown fish, the sharks, the octopus.... They are cute, charming, adorable and of course, colourful. Don't miss out the seabed and the artificial aquarium placed under water. Move on to the music: It's peppy, foot tapping and bound to keep you asking for more.
Over to the plot (and all that purpose behind the storyline): A little bit disappointing. It's not that we do not buy the concept of turtles captured in underwater aquariums teaming up with all varieties of fish, lobsters, penguins, eels, Big D (the sea horse and leader of the gang), etc to make a great plan to escape. We even believe in the concept 'never say never'. But then one just can't overlook the timing: We have been seeing and listening to all that a bit too much of late.
Case in point: The cute ugly fish posing as dead while he is not, simply to be thrown into the sea mistakenly (just like in the recently released 3D version of Finding Nemo). Next, the angry animals versus man in Sammy 2 lives by the 'never give up', 'nothing is impossible' and 'where there is a will there is a way' funda. Haven't we just heard that in the recently released Madagascar 3 and Ice Age 4 as well?
Now if you can keep all that man versus animal fight aside and enjoy the great plan the sea creatures have in order to execute the greater escape, you might as well give Sammy 2 a shot. Kids, of course, just go for it!

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193.Joker (comedy) **1/2
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Sonakshi Sinha, Shreyas Talpade, Alexx O'Nell
Direction: Shirish Kunder
Duration: 1 hour and 45 minutes
Language: Hindi (U)

* Agastya invents aliens to help his mad village onto a welfare map. Will the world get his joke?

Straight up—Joker arouses extreme passions. You'll love it or hate it. It's a totally off-the-wall entertainer powered by corny jokes, OTT filmi characters and tongue-in-cheek sequences. If you like that sort of thing, you'll laugh out loud. If you don't, it's not for you.
Joker starts with scientist Agastya (Kumar) who's developing 'the world's most sophisticated radio' to contact aliens, urgently summoned from America to his desi village. With girlfriend Diva (Sinha), Agastya returns to his roots in — get this — Paglapur, a swampy village that belongs to no Indian state since the British officer mapping it vamoosed when the nation's largest madhouse broke into the place. The result — Paglapur was settled by the deranged and their descendants, self-sufficient till a dam pops up, choking off its water, the reason Agastya's called back by his desperate desis including bro Babban (Talpade) who only speaks gobbledygook, his cross-eyed father and the red-coated progeny of an English lunatic called 'Lord Falkland'.
Agasyta approaches several ministers for help but receiving only snide jokes, 'Sattu' turns the joke on the world and decides Paglapur is where aliens will land. As 'UFOs' — or, as Agastya shouts, "Haan haan, FO!" — descend, the world's press, politicians and goodies, from electricity to phones, reach Paglapur. As does Agastya's nemesis, nasty American scientist, the brilliantly-named Simon Goeback (O'Nell), who sets out to ruin the village's show.
Joker is literally a mad comedy, its real star its jokes, one villager stating calmly, "Dil toh karta hai ki qawalli gaun", another explaining an alien in a field as, "Babuji lota lekar gaye honge," glittering little gems in a crazy painting. Some performances — Talpade especially, O'Nell too—are standout while Kumar is adequate. Sinha makes a pretty picture but has a pinched role, Paglapur peculiarly not having any other women around. Joker's plot is inventive, inspired by a colourful mix, ET to Lagaan, Harry Potter, Peepli Live, even reminiscent of an As-terix comic where at the end, they find oil. It's satirical — the old madhouse gets turned into the 'Paglapur Laaj', its electric-shock room becoming the 'Presidential Suite' — and oddball, gaon-walas wearing their dhotis with Trilby hats.
But cheekiness aside, it's got flaws. Apart from Kaafirana and Sing Raja, it has unmemorable music and its lighting provides a dim, aquarium-like viewing experience. Agastya's boss is a mysteriously flickering 3D-like image, Diva's scarlet nail polish appears and vanishes as rapidly as the village ET, the film's FX looks more tacky than techie. Quibbles aside, it's a funny flick which doesn't promise the earth—but delivers a home-made alien.

* Tip-Off: Joker's a 'vegetarian' family dish that overloads the cheesy corn without adding common sense. Watch if you can digest well.

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194.I M 24 (romcom) **1/2
Cast: Ranvir Shorey, Rajat Kapoor, Neha Dhupia, Manjari Fadnis, Saurabh Shukla, Lillete Dubey
Direction: Saurabh Shukla
Duration: 2 hours 17 minutes
Language: Hindi (U/A)

* Welcome to Srugglesville, where everyone's struggling — with careers, monies, truths and lies.

What's tougher than lying about your age? Hiding a clean, shiny bald pate, of course. And if you're 40-something, single -not-ready-to-mingle, a struggling writer trying to model yourself on something between Ram and Raja Harishchandra — life ain't easy. That's Shubhendu Roy. His shocking alter ego is roommate Gagan (Ranvir Shorey), a struggling actor and compulsive liar, who can fake anything (pun intended) and believes in jhoot ki jeet. But then, Bald meets Beautiful and all hell breaks loose. Shubhendu meets wannabe beauty queen Kanak (Manjari Fadnis) in an online chat-room, and overnight his life spirals into a 'web' of lies. He's suddenly a 24-year-old, writing films for the Chopras and Johars, with a six-pack, sex-appeal, and soccer stars like Ma-radona and Beckham for friends. Liar! Liar!
Likewise, Gagan is busy wooing Sheila (Neha Dhupia), who flaunts her jawaani with item songs like Tan Mein Jalan. Adding colourful drama, there's a sleazy filmmaker, Nayan Sidhwani (Saurabh Shukla) who's more of a don than a director, flanked by his vampish arm-candy (Lillete Dubey) and a part-time-waiter-part-time-actor (Vijay Raaz), who heighten the chaos.
With a bit of truth, a bit of lies, part spoof, part-real, Saurabh Shukla spins this romcom with witty one-liners, few hilarious scenes, good comic timing, a lot energy (sometimes excessive). But the second half loses spirit, with stretched scenes, repetitive humour and sums-up with an anti-climax. Infact, we even wonder why the movie is called IM 24, really?
As a 42-year old moonlighting as 24-year-old stud, Rajat Kapoor is amusing, but loses grip mid-way. Ranvir Shorey, with his caricaturish Kung-Fu moves, and hyper, high-pitched performance is the highlight. Neha Dhupia and Manjari Fadnis add glamour and giggles. This '24-some-thing' keeps floundering in the pre-teen sense- of-humour space, never really coming of age.

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195.The Campaign (political satire) ***
Cast: Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Sudeikis, Dylan McDermott
Direction: Jay Roach
Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes
Language: English (A)

* A North Carolina district is exactly the place all want to be in, including CEOs Glenn (John Lithgow) and WadeMotch (Dan Aykroyd). Trouble time for long-term Congressman Cam Brady?

The political sarcasm aside, what really works for The Campaign is its timing. With just a few more days left to go before the world gets to see the next (or perhaps same) president of the United States of America, all eyes are set on the incumbent President Barack Obama and his major challenger, former Massachusetts governor, Republican Mitt Romney. The war between the candidates is enough to make headlines the world over. And the war between Congressman Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) and his rival candidate naive Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis), director of the local tourism center, in The Campaign is enough to give you ample food for thought... even as it tickles your (political and intellectual) funny bone.
While Will Ferrell with his typical all-like-a-prez accent and I-almost-said-it-foul-mouth manages to get close to modern American politics, Zach Galifianakis equally shines with his bizarre eccentricities. For the rest, it's over to the typical political references and in-nuendos that have you asking for more: corruption, laid-back attitude, false promises, approval ratings (the highs and lows), corporate bigwigs and their stake in the ruling political party, washing dirty linen in campaigns....
So far so good till you are half way into the movie and don't really care who wins. Why? First, blame it on the plot which has nothing that you have never seen, imagined or heard from the world of politics before. Second, even as the candidates get dirty with each passing day, there is a moment of truth (and all that bhashan stuff) that spoils
all the fun: How much (of dirtiness) is too much when it comes to winning that hot seat. Unless, of course, you like your comedy to be all politically correct.

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196.Bel Ami (drama) ***
Cast: Robert Pattinson, Uma Thurman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Christina Ricci, Holliday Grainger
Direction: Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod
Duration: 1 hour 42 minutes
Language: English (U/A)

* Name, fame and power is what Georges Duroy wants. And he is ready to go to any extent to have 'em all....

And you thought Robert Cullen Pattinson was all about pouting and wooing the love of his life with his vampiristic Ps and Qs in place. Time now to meet the new Robert Pattinson, the actor, whose dark and sinister means justifies the wall against which his ladder leans. As Georges Duroy, getting the woman of repute (name, fame, power, money) to join him in bed is a child's play. And once done, he so unabashedly moves on to projects bigger... in a way that you are left wondering if this is the same guy who stands tall as the epitome of die-no-die-I-will-always-love-you.
Of course, helping him to break away from that twilight-ism are the three leading ladies who have ruled the box office in their own ways: Uma Thurman's career-comes-first Madeleine, Christina Ricci's to-be-or-not-to-be Clotilde and Kristin Scott Thomas' goody-goody Virginie.
The setting is perfect: It's the end of the 19th century — a time when Paree was full of horses and carriages, cancan dresses and aristocrats with a knack of doing everything with poise. The plot is tried and tested—an ex-war soldier of hardly any means dreams of making it big... by hook or by crook. Yes, what goes under those porcelain-covered and satin-mixed stuff has always been questionable. But once again, standing tall in this world of greed, corruption, politicians, the elite... is none other than Pattinson. Watch him emote right in the end where his anger, passion and sense of failure knows no boundaries.
Just make sure you've read the classic novel by Guy de Maupassant so that the somewhat missing links in the script help you connect everything.

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197.Hit and Run (dramedy) ***
Cast: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Tom Arnold, Michael Rosenbaum, Bradley Cooper
Direction: David Palmer and Dax Shepard
Duration: 1 hour 40 minutes
Language: English (A)

* It's LA calling... for lovebirds Annie Bean and Yul Perrkins. In other words, time to hit the road... and run!

They — Annie Bean (Kristen Bell) and Yul Perrkins (Dax Shepard) — hit the road to LA to take up a job out there is pretty clear. But why all that rim? That's because their road trip gets really complicated (and pretty funny) when they are chased by a friend from the past, Alex Dmitri (Bradley Cooper), the ever-swearing Randy Anderson (Tom Arnold), a jealous ex-boyfriend Gil Rathbinn (Michael Rosenbaum) and the rest. But why are they being chased in the first place?
Yul is a self-proclaimed member of the witness protection programme who is happy to live a life of peace with the woman he loves. But when it's career calling for Annie, one has to move on — something that has Yul all worked up... not so much for the shift, as much for the return to his criminal past now.
But then there are a lot of bad guys who're waiting to settle scores with him. Now that's where all that comedy comes from. Add to that Tom Arnold's exceptional urge to swear, packaged with his accident-prone-to-the-core way to life. Next it's the road trip that continues to get crazier, thereby adding some comic relief to the otherwise slow pace of the movie.
Don't go looking for high speed chase and state-of-the-art shootouts. Just settle for some situational comedy amidst the backdrop of Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and 'Let My Love Open the Door', and you'd say this one is watchable.

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198.Jalpari - The Desert Mermaid (social drama) ***
Cast: Lehar Khan, Krishang Trivedi, Pravin Dabas, Suhasini Mulay, Tannishtha Chatterjee
Direction: Nila Madhab Panda
Duration: 1 hour 40 minutes
Language: Hindi (U)

* For curious Shreya, this will turn out to be an unforgettable summer holiday. Her adventures land her in forbidden territory of a village where a dark secret awaits her.

Even Alice wouldn't be able to - brave this wonderland. Of deep mysteries, shattering myths, daayans, horrifying beliefs, dusty roads, parched lands and dried ponds. But our desi Alice, Shreya (Lehar Khan) is all set to encounter her fairy-tale dream, albeit in India's hinterlands.
Shreya, with her kid-bro Sam (Krishang Trivedi), land in their father, Dev's (Pravin Dabas) village for the first time, unaware that their adventures and misadventures will change the fate of a village that's sinking (ironically, without a water body in sight) in its self-afflicted misery
Shreya is one of a kind (she calls her father Dev, and refuses to wear anything girlie); she's the only tomboy this backward village has ever seen, where women are as 'covered-up' as their deep dark secrets. With brother-in-tow, she wanders like a local gaon ki chhori, meets villagers whose mindsets are narrower than local gullis, befriends and bullies the local boys (led by Harsh Mayar), beats them at their games and finally crosses the most dreaded 'No Entry' zone — the daayan's haveli. On the other side, she unearths the real story, where there's nothing puritan or pari-like. And too much water has run dry already. Lehar Khan, with abundant enthusiasm and terrific confidence is quite the hero of this adventure. Krishang Trivedi adds dollops of cuteness, and Harsh Mayar adapts perfectly to this rural setting and is entertaining as the gaon ka chhota gunda. Pravin Dabas as the single father holds fort with his tempered performance. Tannishtha Chatterjee, as a maid, throws in her Bonglish with ease and innocence.
Director, Nila Madhab Panda (known for the much-acclaimed I Am Kalam), adeptly weaves in a stirring social message, adds a bit of mystery, folklore and suspense, without sermonizing. Though in the second half, the imagination dries up and most scenes are predictable. The eerie silences are punctuated by Midival Pun-ditz & Ashish Chauhan's music, adding a rustic flavour.
Dive into this adventure, you'll find mermaids and much more.

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199.From Sydney with love (romcom) **
Cast: Sharad Malhotra, Prateek Chakravorty, Bidita Bag, Reshmi Ghosh, Karan Sagoo, Evelyn Sharma
Direction: Prateek Chakravorty
Duration: 2 hours
Language: Hindi (U/A)

* Rohit loves Megha. Megha loves Rohit. But Raj love Megha too. But Lubaina loves Raj. All this and more, against the backdrop of Sydney harbour.

Now here is a movie that gives away way too much in its title: JL ** You know it's a love story You know it's bound to be shot in Sydney And on those two fronts you are not really disappointed. After all, Sydney does not really need a strong plot to look all that rocking. And if it's love
(and a story around it) that we're talking about, who needs intellectual stuff. But then that does not mean you can just walk away with anything in mind.
In this case, it's primarily the low-on-EQ (Emotional Quotient) stuff that takes away all that charm from a movie with an otherwise fresh star cast. Too many people falling in love with each other; no explanations on how getting out of that love nest (read mess) is a Cakewalk; too many sweet nothings but no real somethings between the lovebirds.
Next is Megha, a small — very, very small — town girl from nowhere, who lands up in Sydney, falls in love and is completely taken aback. Why? How can she fall in love when 'baba' has sent her overseas for higher studies! How can she live there any further when she just ended up getting a little naughty (of course, it's the post-one-sip magic) with the very man she loves! The outcome: Our super hero is caught running between Sydney and the village to woo his lady love.
Hard to digest — even with those great Aussie shots, gaana shaana, typical Indianisms, a couple of not-so-bad jokes — considering the cast is all young. Sure we can do better next time.

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200.Shark Night 3D (thriller) **l/2
Cast: Sara Paxton, Dustin Miliigan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Joel David Moore
Direction: David R. Ellis
Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes
Language: English (A)

* A weekend getaway turns into a nightmare for seven youngsters when a shark gets all dangerous and deadly...

And you thought Piranha 3D and Piranha 3DD topped the chart of C-grade Hollywood cinema. Watch Shark Night 3D and you are left guessing what genre this one actually fits into: Not drama, for there is hardly anything other than shouting and screaming. Not horror, for there is nothing that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Not comedy, for all those double-meaning dialogues and 'asset' jokes fail to tickle the funny bone. You ignore everything and move on to the plot. Again, nothing that we have never imagined before.
A group of college students get together for a moment of sun, sand and sex at the Lake House in Louisiana Gulf. But even before they can actually get naughty and decide to hit the beach and the ocean, it's time for the big, bad Shark out there to get more naughty., and attack. This is followed by blood, missing limbs and god knows what. Scary? Not really. After all, what can a teeny-weeny frail-looking creature (even on 3D) do to us.
Not acceptable, specially when it's the same Hollywood that has given us jaw-dropping shark tales like Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, 12 Days of Terror....

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201.Dredd 3D (sci-fi) ***
Cast: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Lena Headey, Rachel Wood
Direction: Pete Travis
Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes
Language: English (A)

* The future of this futuristic city looks unsure. Why? Blame it on the gangsters, the war lords and the drug peddlers.

Even before you step into the theatre i make sure you know what lies in store for you. Action and loads of noise. But then if you are an ardent fan of the 2000 AD comic strip titled Judge Dredd—yes, yet another comic book hero comes alive on screen — nothing is a wee bit confusing for you. You know the judges, the jury members, the executioners, the brokers of law etc are all but one people in this future city of America — Cops. And if Judge Dredd (Karl Urban) is who we are talking about, the word is super cop.
As the uniformed judge — who looks all smart, hi-tech and confident — Karl makes sure justice prevails in every nook and corner of the Peach Tree. Watch out for the shielding of the Peach Tree scene. In fact, the onus of giving us all that extra dose of action lies with him... and his trainee partner, Anderson (Olivia Thirlby). Olivia, on the other hand, plays the perfect, .obedient helper with an extra ability to predict the past... and sometimes the unsaid. But then the one leading to all that mess is the bad girl, Ma-Ma, and her gangsters. Lena Headey with her bloody eyes and scared face is mean, aggressive and dangerous. The three leads indeed make up for an otherwise great (edge-of-the-sea kinda) plot.
So as long as the bullets keep whizzing — there are a couple of slow, dead and non-action moments — Dredd 3D has things going its way And if not anything else, it's over to the scenes that show junkies falling off skyscrapers in super slow motion... stopping time and creating some great, stunning (and brutal too)

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202.Fire in Babylon (Documentary) ****
Cast: Viv Richards, Clive Lloyd, Michael Holding
Direction: Stevan Riley
Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes
Language: English (U)

* From harmless 'calypso' cricketers to champions who mauled their enemy, how did the West Indies become cricket's giants?

Fire in Babylon (FIB) is a detailed j H sports documentary—and more. It's a vibrant, throbbing piece of world history told through the tale of test cricket played by one nation—the West Indies. FIB shows how the West Indies — where cricket, as an elderly Caribbean tells you in that glorious accent of rum and sun, is 'a daily situation' — went from being a team of harmless players facing humiliating defeats, to being lean, mean masters of the game. And it shows why this was vital.
The West Indies's rise reflected the fight back against a colonial Dast. aeainst a mindset of 'Babylon' which didn't treat all as equals, to win equality — and regard — from a grudging world.
Like a calypso number, FIB draws you in gently, its narrative swaying from a 1960s of confusing defeats, to a deadlier 1970s when under Clive Lloyd's focusing captaincy, the West Indies became the team every cricketing nation feared.
FIB uses a host of rich narrative techniques — cricketing legends speaking about those glory days, press reports, black-and-white TV footage of matches, archival political footage of apartheid South Africa—policemen shooting black protestors, letting loose Alsatian dogs on them — all shaken up with West Indian music. It portrays how the West Indies realized they needed to fight humiliation hard. And win the respect of their former British colonisers, of devastating Australian pace bowlers, of crowds who chanted 'Go back to the trees, black bastards'. In 1975, the West Indies was battered by Australia. In 1976, after English captain Tony Greig sneered, 'We'll make them grovel', press reports screamed, 'Look Who's Grovelling Now!'
FIB captures cricket's beauty. But it widens, showing how the West Indies unleashed a huge wave of black pride vital when racism was acceptable in many parts of the world. By capturing how Viv Richards and Bob Marley connected — and how Ian Botham and Richards finally walked in smiling equality — FIB shows sports is more than a pastime. It's about the grit which pushes you to play a gentleman's game far from gently, going from what Frantz Fanon called the wretched of the earth, to its giants.
Catch it.

184.Barfi! (feel good) ****1/2
Cast: Ranbir Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, llearia D'Cruz
Direction: Anurag Basu
Duration: 2 hours 30 minutes
Language: Hindi (mostly silent) (U)
* An almost silent relationship between a deaf-mute and an autistic that speaks volumes about unconditional love.
He was born to a song playing on a Murphy radio, but this . 'Murphy' baby (Ranbir) aka Barfi has a different law. Everything that has to go wrong will go wrong, but not if you brave it with a broad smiley. So 'mute' the high decibel chaos and deafening melodrama around and tune into Barfi ki duniya which is simple, sweet and SILENT! Yet, extreme emotions of love, joy and pain resound — at different 'frequencies'.
In the breathtakingly beautiful Darjeeling of the 70s, Barfi 'bumps into' Shruti (Ileana) and instantly falls in love with her. With wonder-eyes and in part-Chaplin-part-Raj-Kapoor style, he woos her with more 'actions' than words and leaves her speechless. He even wins over her heart, but she walks away with a Bengali babu, only because he 'apparently' has some abilities (of sound and speech, minus emotion) that Barfi isn't blessed with. But don't worry, this Charlie is no bechara, he gives her a wordless, guttural, 'earful', wears his signature smiley and moves on.
Soon he reunites with childhood friend Jhilmil (Priyanka) — autistic and abandoned by her wealthy family to live in a 'special' home. In between haath-rickshaw rides, watching fireflies and gulping putchkas — an endearing and special bond grows between Barfi and Jhilmil. Life takes a turn (sharper than the tram-lines of Kolkata), and the destinies of Barfi, Jhilmil and Shruti mysteriously converge.
Ranbir, in the most challenging performance of his career leaves us 'dumbstruck'. Without use of conventional crutches of cool-catch-phrases, dhamaakedar-dialogue-baazi, bare-bodies, and other'items'; he stuns you in every single frame. Even too much of Barfi isn't enough, damn the diet!
For Priyanka, there's only one word — Bravo! In a role where she needs to under-emote, she does so brilliantly. Without stylish chiffons, she wears awkward frocks, buckle-shoes and buck teeth, discarding the diva image like an old hand-me-down for lesser actresses; delivering an incredible performance. Ileana looks a beautiful Bong bahu, and proves her talent with conviction and confidence in her Bollywood debut.
For a story riddled with disabilities, Barfi is more than ably handled by Anurag Basu. He remarkably immerses you in his world of sounds and verbose silences, recreating Chaplin's antics, stripping two superstars down to basics and sensitively spinning a magical world of unconditional love. The narrative is too non-linear at times, and the pace slows in the second half. That apart, it's truly path-breaking for Bollywood.
Pritam's background score fills the air, lending support to silences, and the lyrics beautifully describe the mute-musings of the characters.
The biggest human disability is we can't find happiness. So go indulge in Barfi It'll leave you 'happy high'!
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185.Gone (thriller) ***
Cast: Amanda Seyfried, Daniel Sunjata, Jennifer Carpenter, Sebastian Stan, Socratis Otto, Emily Wickersham
Direction: Heitor Dhalia
Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes
Language: English (U/A)
* Jill (Amanda Seyfried) has issues of her own to deal with: She is undertaking psychiatric treatment after she was kidnapped, tortured and almost killed. But even before she can get over her past, her present falls apart. This time it's her sister, Molly, who goes missing one fine day. Time for action. But how?
Mamma Mia'. Amanda Seyfried does not skip being on screen even for a single second. Right from the first shot till the last one, you see Amanda running from pillar to post... from cop to neighbour... from strangers to best buddies in order to find her missing sister. Now that's where Gone scores brownie points.
Amanda is convincing as a patient who is yet to get over a traumatic past. She looks aptly helpless as the single girl who drives through the jungles of the cold Portland just to get her sister back. Then she is seen as the do-or-die sister (and victim on the lookout for justice as well) who is all out to take things evil in her stride. No wonder when she finally gives it back to the bad guy, you end up feeling relieved.
Yes, more than the whodunnit and howdunnit, what makes Gone watchable is the very climax when all scores are settled with the bad guy. Precisely the moment when you feel some tension building up. However, all seems lost to the otherwise weak plot.
As for the rest of the characters -including the bad guy — you don't even realize they are even there. Blame it on the script. Or is it due to Amanda calling the shots in every shot? Take your nick....
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186.Tarbosaurus 3D (adventure) ***
Cast: Voice of Goo Ja-Hyeong, Lee Hyung Suk, Sin Yong-woo
Direction: Han Sang-Ho
Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes
Language: English (U)
* Spotty has two missions to accomplish: A whole new world to explore and a big, bad guy to avenge. Just one problem: He is just about a year old... and growing!
First, what works for Tarbosaurus 1 3D: Dinosaurs, dinosaurs and more dinosaurs. After all we are talking about the Tarbosaurus that lived some 80 million years ago. So what follows scene after scene is one dinosaur fighting the other... many dinosaurs hunting down a helpless prey. Surely an attention grabber... in 3D!
Next is the desert landscape, all high and dry, captured pretty well... again in 3D. In fact, the parched landscape has all dinosaurs (and perhaps the viewers alike) wanting to shift to green paradise ASAP. But then struggle for survival has never really been that easy, at least not for our little hero, Spotty, (named after all those cute li'l spots on his face).
But before that he sees his folks die before his eyes as he is left alone to deal with the bullies of the jungle. Enough for the EQ (emotional quotient).
Not to miss out are the cute moments when Spotty is seen discovering a whole new world: quicksand for him is like the invisible giant; mammals giving birth rather than laying eggs like his species is wonder-stuff for him; falling for the blue-eyed Tarbosaurus is the best thing that could ever happen to him.
Now for what plays spoilsport: Undoubtedly it's the introduction of the varied creatures (their traits, their breeding habits, their food preferences, hunting styles) that once existed on planet Earth — Velociraptors, Tylosaurus, Tyrannosaurus, Grenausarus, Ankylosaurus. Sometimes these even pop up in the middle of scenes that matter.
But then all loopholes are taken care of when Spotty puts on a brave front to battle the big, bad Torosausrus — One Eye. That's when the message is loud and clear: Never give up... Nothing is impossible!
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187.Arbitrage (drama) ***
Cast: Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Roth, Brit Marling
Direction: Nicholas Jarecki
Duration: 1 hour 40 minutes
Language: English
* Robert Miller, a corporate honcho, is desperate to sell his trading empire. But before that a whole lot of issues — personal and corporate — need to be tackled.
The setting is the big, biz world of corporate America. Hence, the plot revolves around green bills, manipulative tycoons, profits and mergers. Add to that Robert Miller (Richard Gere), caught in a trap, courtesy his mistress... and all things 'green' just not working in favour of him, and Arbitrage (like many movies before) puts you face-to-face with what goes on in the world where all that matters is profit and loss.
As for what lies in store for the movie buff, it's definitely the performance. Not that of Susan Sarandon. Sadly, we hardly get to see her — for most of the time she is cornered as the high society wife who might find the ongoing in her husband's life complicated. Of course, the little that we see of her simply reiterates her position in the list of ace Hollywood actors. Next is Detective Michael Bryer (Tim Roth), who does manage to pull off a decent act. Again, he too loses the grip due to loopholes in the plot. Finally, the onus lies on Richard Gere.
Needless to say he is the winner... out and out. As the father who just can't tell in the 'unbalanced' balance sheet... As the tycoon who cannot be picked up by the law due to his super rich status... As the man who does not want his people to be hurt even as he indulges in financial irregularities and infidelity on the sly... As the man who wants to be richest guy in the cemetery... And as the man whose world revolves around five things only — money, money, money, money and money, Richard Gere is THE reason you might want to watch this one.
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188.Special Forces (action) ***
Cast: Diane Kruger, Djimon Hounsou, Benoit Magimel, Denis Menochet, Raphael Personnaz
Direction: Stephane Rybojad
Duration: 1 hour 49 minutes
Language: English (U/A)
* Elsa, a french journalist, is kidnapped by the Taliban in Afghanistan. Enter the special forces....
If it's the special forces we are talking about, guns and grenades, state-of-the-art technology and out-of-the-box strategies is what we are primarily on the lookout for. Sadly here our men in uniforms are seen falling, faltering and giving up as well. No wonder, the special force, comprising six super officers on a mission to get kidnapped Elsa safely back to her land, end up being killed. Not to say they never try at all. At least the first half sees our men in action. For the rest, over to the story....
Action and the struggle-to-survive (all seen before stuff) aside, there are moments in the movie that do deserve a special mention: the performances by every single cast member that hold your attention till the very end; the state of the nation, the diplomatic statement and reactions, the panic in news agencies when a (war) correspondent is abducted; the camerawork that captures the tribal areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan in its extreme form beautifully; the not-so-happening practices being followed in some not-so-fortunate parts of the world—women being sold to the
Taliban; a Muslim woman throwing off her veil just to smile (her idea of who gives a damn) before her public execution; children as young as seven forcibly taken away by the Taliban so that they can return to do the same.
Agreed this was never meant to be a Daniel Pearl and Johanne Sutton real life drama come alive on screen, but what really makes Special Forces a little different is the very opening line of the movie that gives us ample food for thought — The only way to change the world is to change the story
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189.Jeena Hai Toh Thok Daal (crime thriller) *
Cast: Ravi Kishen, Yashpal Sharma, Manish Vatsalya, Rahul Kumar, Hazel Crowney, Govind Namdev, Sharat Saxena, Ashwini Kalsekar, Murli Sharma
Direction: Manish Vatsalya
Duration: 2 hours 15 mints
Language: Hindi (A)
* Four Bihari criminals hit Mumbaifor a hit-job. One falls in love with the victim — what explodes?
Straight up — Jeena Hai Toh Thok Daal (JHTTD) is a nightmare. My strongest objection to it is its extreme violence in language. Foul-mouthed films aren't new. Filmmakers often use cussing for shock-value, rude energy and to add believability to scenarios. Godard's done it. Kubrick's done it, on occasion, Anurag Kashyap too. But in JHTTD, expletives are used with a mindboggling frequency that actually makes the film's dialogues totally unbelievable — and unacceptable Chu****, ma-or-behen****? Baby-talk for JHTTD, clearly hoping a thin storyline, weak acting, shaky music and ridiculous situations can be masked by doling gross abuse all over these.
The film is also reprehensible for portraying Biharis in their worst stereotypes. Criminal-minded, sex-starved and abhorrently filthy are apparently only some shades to Biharis — here, gangsters Chandrabhan (Kishen), Atka (Vatsalya), Mahkoo (Sharma) and Bitwa (Kumar). The foursome, making just enough to enjoy item numbers that heave 'Palangtor jawani', get hired by local cop Hanumant Singh (Sharma, usually eye-catching, overshadowed by the squelching abuse here) for a hit-job in Mumbai. Haryanvi arms dealer Rana (Saxena, entirely unconvincing) wishes to take revenge on Mar-atha media mogul Pawar (Namdev-ditto) by having his daughter Srishti (Crowney pleasantly unfettered by any need to act) killed.
The Biharis reach Dadar station—a remarkably uncouth attempt at comedy and Pawar's home where Chandru falls in love with Srishti. Her father, amazingly, sacks the other help and employs the four felons to guard and live with her alone. She prances about wearing a towel and making salad for them, the latter trying to shoot her and repeatedly failing. The frustration grows.
As does the viewer's revulsion to what might've been a passable plot, but gets utterly subsumed by intricately foul swear words. The few snatches of music are welcome not for any quality but the break they give one's ears from the dialogue. Kishen is club-like, both heavy and wooden. Vatsalya presents a creepy performance but is so muddy-mouthed, you don't care. Sharma's hit an unimaginable low while some little comedy is provided unintentionally by Kalsekar, the IG who growls, "If you can't save the innocent, always kill the bastard."
As JHTTD finally closes with more mud, blood, even a possible rape, you're repulsed at this massacre of a movie. Why the star? For the two words which made this film bearable — the end.

NOT OFFICIAL PLEASE !!! DON'T PRACTICE HERE

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy
Anytime you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you*will* get caught — your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail
Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the Office Late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours
(e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses.Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!:
DON'T forward this to your boss even by mistake!!!