posted 17 May 2013, 03:40
HITLER : "If you win you need not explain. But if you lose you should not be there to explain"▼33 comments
BONNIE BLAIR : "Winning does'nt always mean being first.Winning means you are doing better than you have done before"
CHARLES : "Never break four things in your life-Trust, Promise, Relation and Heart. Because when they break they dont make noise but pains a lot"
LEO TOLSTOY : "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
MOTHER TERESA : "If you start judging people, you will be having no time to love them."
"If we cannot love the person whom we see, then how come we love god whom we cannot see"
SWAMI VIVEKANANDHA : "In a day when you dont come accross any problems, you can be sure that you are travelling in a wrong path"
posted 24 May 2011, 07:44
The Art of Kissing▼6 comments
GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS:
"Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with respect to me or with respect to you. First define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me by treating me in the same reference frame as you are or treating me in a different inertial frame by producing waves of motion through your lips. How do you prefer?"
GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
"Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you satisfy the following conditions. Necessary conditions: You should be close to me by a distance delta where delta is greater than zero and the limit for delta tends to zero and you satisfy the closure property. Sufficient conditions: You should have lips. Where the number of lips is neither more than two nor less than two. You can also kiss by defining your hand to be me if and only if you satisfy the above conditions.
GIRL FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES:
"Oh Kissing, that is interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is an initiating process for sex not only found in homosapiens but also in all heterosapiens, mammals, camels, vertebrates invertebrates and insects. Out of 1000 ants observed in a closed laboratory in Zuvinich in Yugoslavia 90% of them seem to involve in the process of kissing but the subsequence is very random with probability 0.672139 that a male ant kisses a female ant. First observe the behaviour of ants and cockroaches under various conditions. That will be very interesting, isn't it?
GIRL FROM COMPUTER SCIENCE:
"You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that you know the algorithm for that very well. But you have to complete the process within 56.22 seconds or else connection will be timed out. To optmise the timing lets do parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our future and other things, let us do the process of discussion foreground and why can't you put the process of Kissing background?"
GIRL FROM ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING:
"So you would like to kiss me. The process of kissing is an age old communication process. The information content of the signal transmitted from one pair of lips to the other is more if the probability of the event (of kissing) is less. Hence take care. If you want a successful communication between us, you should kiss me less often. If the information content is to be infinite, you should never kiss me at all!"
posted 24 May 2011, 07:43
An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the▼12 comments
English language. He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how
ships and planes were usually referred to as "she."
One of the students raised his hand and asked "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't
certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other,
and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked
to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.