Punography





· I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

· A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

· A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

· PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

· Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

· Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

· Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

· I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

· Velcro - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

· Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

· Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

· I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

so punny!

Very good. Here's another: A boiled egg for breakfast is hard to beat.

Ever hear the story of a guy seeing a lizard creature in the swamp? What a load of croc!

 
A woman had her hair trapped in a closed safe. Damn those dreaded locks.

 
What's green, with blue question marks and pink in the face? The Riddler.

 
When I read a book whilst walking down the road I always find plenty of plotholes.

Lol

If you are from Europe and have had to much to drink that you feel like your bladder is leaking.
what are you?
European

I liked it so much i made a pic and took that list and posted it to facebook for share... :)

* A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
* Practice safe eating – always use condiments
* Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death
* Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play
* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
* If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
* You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it
* Acupuncture is a jab well done
* She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still

Stealing those...