Brads identity is top secret and his name can only be spoken in the softest of whispers...lest he become angry...my advice would be to immediately sacrifice a kitten and hope that he is appeased...
I can't leave...the site's users need my highly informative and always accurate blogs...PLUS, there LOTS of gay midget rodeo clown porn, people are ALWAYS giving me sandwiches and nobody seems to get mad when I get excited and poop a little...
It's been my experience that humor always works the best...ask the officer something like "What's the problem, Officer? Dunkin Donuts CLOSED today??" Of course, it should noted that I actually ENJOY being tasered...